#网友语录 Polebug 以前别人告诉我，运动/健身会上瘾，我非常不信。作为一个运动白痴+体力渣渣的人，我很难感受到运动的乐趣，上瘾更是无稽之谈。
但最近，我真的感觉到运动的快乐了！而且很积极地希望自己保持下去。
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这种心态上转变是一个非常漫长的过程。
起因是 7 月的时候，我在小红书刷到家附近有普拉提卡的转让，当时感觉自己年纪大了之后容易发胖，需要适当运动来提高代谢。就找那个转让的姐妹，收了 41 次的普拉提课。
由于普拉提这种力量+柔韧训练，对我还是难度太大了。到现在 5 个月，我断断续续只上了 15 节课。
但随着时间的变化，我的接受度在不断提高，上课中感受到的痛苦开始降低，运动之后的快感开始大幅提升，再加上保持运动带来的身体上的变化，这一系列都在持续带给我正反馈。
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突然想到之前看《福格行为模型》说到，习惯的保持是能力 + 动力。如果一件事变得越来越简单、容易做到，并且持续带给你动力、正反馈，那就更容易坚持下去。
希望自己以后遇到难事，也可以这样坚持下去～
但最近，我真的感觉到运动的快乐了！而且很积极地希望自己保持下去。
---
这种心态上转变是一个非常漫长的过程。
起因是 7 月的时候，我在小红书刷到家附近有普拉提卡的转让，当时感觉自己年纪大了之后容易发胖，需要适当运动来提高代谢。就找那个转让的姐妹，收了 41 次的普拉提课。
由于普拉提这种力量+柔韧训练，对我还是难度太大了。到现在 5 个月，我断断续续只上了 15 节课。
但随着时间的变化，我的接受度在不断提高，上课中感受到的痛苦开始降低，运动之后的快感开始大幅提升，再加上保持运动带来的身体上的变化，这一系列都在持续带给我正反馈。
---
突然想到之前看《福格行为模型》说到，习惯的保持是能力 + 动力。如果一件事变得越来越简单、容易做到，并且持续带给你动力、正反馈，那就更容易坚持下去。
希望自己以后遇到难事，也可以这样坚持下去～
聪明人不要把吝啬当成节俭，年轻时候的节俭可能变成年老时的贪婪。#观点 （这篇最初发表于15年前的今天。今天的我对此篇加了以下评论。
习惯了对自己吝啬也会不自觉的反感别人“大手大脚”。节俭有其意义但一定要有度。人生没有多么长，要记得对自己好点儿。
习惯了对自己吝啬也会不自觉的反感别人“大手大脚”。节俭有其意义但一定要有度。人生没有多么长，要记得对自己好点儿。
#网友语录 Marskay 短视频成瘾后果：更强的无聊感。更差的满足感。注意力下降、意义感下降、幻灭感UP。不断切换会破坏大脑原本通过集中注意力才能获得的美好沉浸感（心流），同时不断强化『隔壁有更多更刺激选择』的预期心理，让你永远无法真正停留享受当前内容中，从而形成不断螺旋向下的循环。（我有一个经常刷短视频的朋友说他不喜欢心流状态，更喜欢用碎片时间完成任务。他真的经历过很多他所不喜欢的心流状态的感觉吗？我不确定。也许是因为那是他很难达到的地方，所以没法喜欢吧。把主流的时间用于玩耍和娱乐，利用碎片时间做点事情，能给一个人我的人生也没有完全虚度的感觉，让人心里好受一些。但碎片时间做事情是很难达成积累和进步的。好希望他能明白这一点。不过我还是不能明白，怎么会有人不喜欢心流状态。
#网友语录 人生若梦为欢几何 看着我对象的背影 觉得真的好喜欢。他自己省省的 却主动一直给我钱。所以我反而不会问他要钱，给多少全凭他自己意愿。我也不乱用，存在我们一起的账户里。（愿你俩纯纯傻傻的爱情永葆青春
@26684 KP: What is your advice for the people of Ukraine?
KvH: Whenever I leave somebody, I say, “Stay safe.” That’s the most important thing. But for me, keeping up the spirit is at least equally important, because in the very end, it’s the spirit that decides over victory or defeat.
Weapons can help, but it’s the spirit that truly matters. That’s the spirit you can feel in Ukraine on many levels. Sometimes, of course, it’s missing, but on many levels, you can feel it – and it’s the spirit that has kept people going. #网摘
KvH: Whenever I leave somebody, I say, “Stay safe.” That’s the most important thing. But for me, keeping up the spirit is at least equally important, because in the very end, it’s the spirit that decides over victory or defeat.
Weapons can help, but it’s the spirit that truly matters. That’s the spirit you can feel in Ukraine on many levels. Sometimes, of course, it’s missing, but on many levels, you can feel it – and it’s the spirit that has kept people going. #网摘
@26684 KvH: One thing I’m very glad about in Austria is that we still have compulsory military service. I think that’s very important, just to have some experience in that field. If you look at a country like Switzerland, you cannot have a career in civil service or certain other sectors unless you have had a military career, even in the reserves.
I think that’s a very good thing, because the military does not only take – it also gives a lot. It provides experience, leadership skills, understanding of group dynamics, and many other things that are also very important in other parts of life. #网摘
I think that’s a very good thing, because the military does not only take – it also gives a lot. It provides experience, leadership skills, understanding of group dynamics, and many other things that are also very important in other parts of life. #网摘
#网摘 KvH: One also has to look back at previous wars. One of the most amazing pieces of fake information that Russia keeps putting forward is this notion of Russian invincibility: unlimited reserves, unlimited personnel. That’s absolute nonsense.
If you look at the track record of wars in the past, Russia was not exactly successful. Whether you go back to the Russo-Japanese War, World War I, World War II, or the war with Finland, Russia lost again and again. This invincibility just does not exist, and they’re also going to lose in Ukraine.
I think the chances for Ukraine are pretty good, but it’s an extremely hard and long road.
<https://www.kyivpost.com/post/66157>
If you look at the track record of wars in the past, Russia was not exactly successful. Whether you go back to the Russo-Japanese War, World War I, World War II, or the war with Finland, Russia lost again and again. This invincibility just does not exist, and they’re also going to lose in Ukraine.
I think the chances for Ukraine are pretty good, but it’s an extremely hard and long road.
<https://www.kyivpost.com/post/66157>
Kyiv Post
A Warning Against Appeasement – Interview With Karl von Habsburg (Part II)
In the second of this two-part interview, Karl von Habsburg explains why Vladimir Putin’s strategy of “sitting on bayonets” can never win out, and his advice for the people of Ukraine.
#网友语录 安子 痛苦不是你经历了什么，
而是你的系统正在以某种格式播放它。
格式能改，痛苦就降。（我对此深有体会。一件“坏事”只是打破了你的预期。登山走错了路让我看到别样（预期之外）的风景。就是车子抛锚也给生活添加了情趣。没有什么坏事是单纯的坏事。
而是你的系统正在以某种格式播放它。
格式能改，痛苦就降。（我对此深有体会。一件“坏事”只是打破了你的预期。登山走错了路让我看到别样（预期之外）的风景。就是车子抛锚也给生活添加了情趣。没有什么坏事是单纯的坏事。
#网友语录 Polebug 最近发现自己成长了不少。以前的我受到别人的诽谤，会拼命地想要自证、解释、澄清“我没有”。
但现在的我，不会再会想要这样做。
一是我发现当事人们并不在意你有没有这样做，他们只是在寻找一个“替罪羊”，给一切找一个合理化的理由。
二是我意识到别人对我的看法，其实并不重要。重要的是，今天的工作、生活、有没有吃好睡好、看了什么书、有没有保持思考。至于别人要怎么看我，让他们慢慢琢磨去吧～
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只是我很难过，我的“路见不平拔刀相助”，最后被别人当枪使。我以为我在扶一位跌倒的伙伴，没想到最后被指：“是你推了我”。
笑一下就算啦～
但现在的我，不会再会想要这样做。
一是我发现当事人们并不在意你有没有这样做，他们只是在寻找一个“替罪羊”，给一切找一个合理化的理由。
二是我意识到别人对我的看法，其实并不重要。重要的是，今天的工作、生活、有没有吃好睡好、看了什么书、有没有保持思考。至于别人要怎么看我，让他们慢慢琢磨去吧～
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只是我很难过，我的“路见不平拔刀相助”，最后被别人当枪使。我以为我在扶一位跌倒的伙伴，没想到最后被指：“是你推了我”。
笑一下就算啦～
Here's a funny trick you can use to soften your delivery. Imagine that you're talking to a friend instead of your partner. Most of us listen to our friends more closely, and we have lower expectations and more patience for them. We tend to give them the benefit of the doubt, and we don't get as triggered by what they say or do. Imagine one of your best friends in front of you when you're talking to your partner, and watch your communication transform. This is a fun hack to play with, and it's surprisingly effective in the moment!
Here are a few other ways to start softly:
- Keep your tone calm and even.
- Be aware of your facial expressions and body language, and try to convey relaxation.
- If you're open to it, hold hands or touch while you talk. A little bit of physical contact reminds you of your love for each other.
- Make sure your first few sentences are particularly kind and open.
4: USE "I" LANGUAGE
You've probably heard this one before; it's an oldie but a goodie. Instead of saying "You did this" or "You did that," talk about your personal reactions and experiences using "I" "me" and "my". So, instead of, "You never want to spend time with me," you say, "I've been feeling lonely lately, and I've been wanting to feel more connected to you." If you're feeling stuck, here's an easy framework to use: "I feel X, and I need Y. Notice how that worked in the prior example-I'm feeling lonely and I need more connection.
Using "I" language cuts defensiveness off at the pass. If you tell your partner, "You did this" it's going to feel like an attack to them, and it's likely to trigger an argumentative response like "No, I didn't!" But if you talk about your own experience, it's less likely to inflame that defensiveness.
This also helps you identify the feelings that are coming up for you. Your feelings are what need tending to when you're upset, not the actual details of what happened.
#书摘 Sex Talks
Here are a few other ways to start softly:
- Keep your tone calm and even.
- Be aware of your facial expressions and body language, and try to convey relaxation.
- If you're open to it, hold hands or touch while you talk. A little bit of physical contact reminds you of your love for each other.
- Make sure your first few sentences are particularly kind and open.
4: USE "I" LANGUAGE
You've probably heard this one before; it's an oldie but a goodie. Instead of saying "You did this" or "You did that," talk about your personal reactions and experiences using "I" "me" and "my". So, instead of, "You never want to spend time with me," you say, "I've been feeling lonely lately, and I've been wanting to feel more connected to you." If you're feeling stuck, here's an easy framework to use: "I feel X, and I need Y. Notice how that worked in the prior example-I'm feeling lonely and I need more connection.
Using "I" language cuts defensiveness off at the pass. If you tell your partner, "You did this" it's going to feel like an attack to them, and it's likely to trigger an argumentative response like "No, I didn't!" But if you talk about your own experience, it's less likely to inflame that defensiveness.
This also helps you identify the feelings that are coming up for you. Your feelings are what need tending to when you're upset, not the actual details of what happened.
#书摘 Sex Talks
